Tuesday, June 22, 2021
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Screw job in Seattle

It is past midnight. I am sitting in the Signal basement, editing pages and hoping that Jordy Nelson doesn’t screw me in fantasy. Little did I know, I wasn’t the one about to get screwed.

I was watching the Monday Night Football game between the Green Bay Packers and Seattle Seahawks. As many of you probably saw, the Seahawks were attempting a comeback, down 12-7. The replacement officials were at the top of their game, calling horrendous roughing the passer penalties and bullshit pass interference calls. I was literally laughing, although I did feel bad for the Packer fans. There were some questionable calls against my Dallas Cowboys a day earlier, and I know I’m not the only fan who has had their team hurt by these refs.

Golden Tate clearly has the ball.

And then it happened. Seahawks’ quarterback Russell Wilson heaved a last second Hail Mary into the endzone, hoping something would go right. Seahawks’ wide receiver Golden Tate shoved a Packer defender to the ground, clearly pass interference, jumped up, and hooked his arm around the arm of Packer defender M. D. Jennings, who had intercepted the ball. When the pile of players came down, it was a bit unclear who had possession, even to these wonderful referees. One of them signaled an interception while the other had his hand up for a score.

After seeing the replay, it was obvious. Despite the missed pass interference call, Jennings had secured the interception. Game over. Packers win. The refs had originally ruled it a touchdown, but it had to be reversed. But wait! Never underestimate the power of the replacement officials!

“The ruling on the field stands, touchdown,” said the head official, who clearly must be suffering from some drug or disease.


That was my reaction. And that was the PG version of it.

My colleagues and I laughed and screamed and were in awe of what happened. How could the NFL allow such a travesty? The Packers were literally SCREWED. There were no two ways around it. A blind man could have seen it.

I went on Twitter and bathed myself in the rants of fans, sports writers, and clueless idiots now claiming that they are on the Russell Wilson bandwagon. I watched the highlights on ESPN, still trying to accept the fact that what I saw actually happened.

But don’t worry, I found the problem!

It’s okay everyone! The ref wasn’t paying attention! He didn’t actually see the play! Or the replay. Or the review. No one could be that terrible, right? The dude got bored. Give him a break. Here’s another ref’s take.

This ref was simply uniformed. Why wouldn’t anyone tell him that M. D. Jennings, the man wearing white, is on the Packers? That’s not his fault. Someone’s got to let him know. It’s cool that the replacement officials have this Twitter account, so we can all actually know what’s going on in their heads. Here’s yet another official.

Hey, we’ve all been there. You’ve got a rumbling in your tummy and you’re not Pooh Bear looking for honey. You need to drop a deuce. This guy must not know how to use the Pepto Bismol in his pocket. Too many yellow flags in there. Another thing he doesn’t know how to use. Let’s see what this next ref has to say.

This ref never learned what pass interference is! He thinks it’s only on the defense. Come to think of it, I kind of get confused with pass interference too. So don’t sweat it hombre. Here’s one final ref’s thoughts.

Hey, Aaron, that’s not cool. The woman is married, you do not try to get with his wife. I guess you got what was coming for you.

Now, back to being serious. I know a few people that are Packer fans, and I am sincerely sorry for you. If that was the Cowboys, I would have ripped out my stomach and thrown it at the T. V. That is a complete joke that affects the team in so many ways. Playoff implications may come into play down the line. What if the Packers and Seahawks are tied at 10-6 for the last wild card spot? That would just be pitiful.

But looking at the glass half full, this may have been a blessing in disguise. Despite the horrid officiating through three weeks (especially in last week’s Broncos-Falcons game and last night’s Patriots-Ravens game), the media has been bailing refs out and saying that they have yet to blow a call that affects the outcome of a game.

Well here it is.

So the ball is in the NFL’s court. What will Roger Goodell do? After this game, he has no choice: make a new deal and bring the real refs back. What we all just witnessed was an absolute disgrace. The NFL should be ashamed because it has turned the greatest product in the world to a complete joke. What’s the point of watching anymore?

And that right there is the problem. We are at the mercy of our own desire. We can curse, yell, and break whatever we want, but we’re still going to watch football. We love it so much. We can’t live without it. If you glued my eyelids down with super glue and handcuffed me to a chair, I would find a way to watch football. It’s that simple. That’s why we are at the mercy of the NFL. That is why we are at the mercy of Roger Goodell. And that’s why even though this seems like the final straw, it won’t be. This past Sunday, the officials met with the NFL and made zero progress with them on a deal. It’s not happening anytime soon.

So fuck you Roger Goodell. For ruining the sport I love. For having everyone take their anger out on these helpless zebras who clearly have no idea what they’re doing. For taking your foot and shoving it right up the Packers’ asses. And for being the greedy bastards that you were during the lockout last year. You make billions of dollars as an organization in revenue. God forbid you throw the refs a few extra pennies.


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