Wednesday, April 14, 2021
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Johnanthony Alaimo

Celeb Spotlight

Nervous breakdown: Oprah overwhelmed

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
People, and by people I mean the two who watched the 2013 Emmys, are going wild over Merritt Weaver’s acceptance speech. The actress, who won Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her role on “Nurse Jackie,” delivered a memorable speech last Sunday.
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Celeb Spotlight

Former reality star Gosselin waiting tables

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If you’re wondering whatever happened to Jon Gosselin, just ask for a glass of water the next time you go to a restaurant. He might get it for you.
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Celeb Spotlight

Miley’s tongue takes sleazy spotlight

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Remember that time Miley Cyrus grossed me out? Oh wait, let me be more specific. In her latest venture in all things sleazy and a little queasy, Miley released the music video for her latest single, “Wrecking Ball.”
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Celeb Spotlight

Bill Nye the Dancing Guy

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
The Queen of Pop and Pop Rocks herself, Miss Britney Spears, is counting down to something. On her official Facebook page and website, the...
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Celeb Spotlight

Affleck: Gotham’s hero

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh no, it’s just Ben Affleck piggybacking on Matt Damon. The Academy Award winner and star of hit films...
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Celeb Spotlight

Gaga’s Twitter war

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Hello friends, haters and people using this section of the newspaper as a loincloth. I am your disgraceful columnist, Johnanthony Alaimo, ready to bring...
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Celeb Spotlight

Reese Witherspoon is legally intoxicated

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
Here’s a headline you didn’t expect to see! “Eggs, milk, sack of potatoes, 10 boxes of hot pockets.” Whoops, accidentally copy-pasted my grocery list. Let’s try this again. “Reese Witherspoon arrested for disorderly conduct after traffic stop.”
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Celeb Spotlight

Bieber quite Frank about his narcissism

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There are a number of things I enjoy. I love a good pecan, I cannot get enough of Julia Child, and I am in love with downward spirals, namely, Justin Bieber’s.
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Celeb Spotlight

Sass is not Wanted

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
EVERYONE. Are you still alive? Am I talking to a survivor of the devastating Twitter war between Louis Tomlinson of One Direction and Thomas Parker of The Wanted? I thought I was the only one left. But you’re here. And reading this. Before we repopulate the planet, let us take a look back at what got us to this point.
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Celeb Spotlight

A Spears goes missing

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The love of my life/cracked pistachio nut that is Britney Spears has run into a slight problem.
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Celeb Spotlight

Bynes’s vagina tweets

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Amanda, PLEASE … calm down.
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Celeb Spotlight

Lohan gets glittered

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Not a day goes by when I’m not covered in glitter. So I’m glad Lindsay Lohan was able to experience the glow.
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Celeb Spotlight

Kim makes a new friend

Johnanthony Alaimo - 2
One of Kim’s elusive beauty secrets has finally been revealed! Turns out, she loves injecting blood into her face! No, you read that right. KIM KARDASHIAN IS A FUCKING GHOUL.
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Celeb Spotlight

Hollywood celebrates, Perez Hilton procreates

Johnanthony Alaimo - 0
In case you accidentally did something fun last week, you missed the 85th Academy Awards AKA the Oscars AKA The Annual Rich People Drinking Together Social.
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