The way we approach technology use with our children can significantly impact their development into well-rounded adults. Richard Culatta, a tech education expert and author of “Digital for Good: Raising Kids to Thrive in an Online World,” has identified strategies effective parents use to help their children achieve a balanced relationship with technology. Here are four common phrases that parents with well-adjusted kids avoid, along with suggestions on what to say instead.
1. “You’re addicted to your phone.”
This is a common statement, but it can be confusing for children. It’s not the device itself that’s addictive, but rather a specific app or website. If you think your child is spending too much time on their phone, it’s more effective to identify the real issue. For instance, if they aren’t engaging in physical activities you deem important, instead of criticizing their screen time, provide a compelling reason to do something else. For example, say, “It seems like you haven’t done any exercise today.”
2. “You’ve been playing that game for too long.”
Focusing solely on the duration your child spends on a digital activity doesn’t address the underlying issues. If you believe the game isn’t as beneficial as other activities, make that clear. For instance, “It seems this game is taking up more of your attention than it should, considering it’s mainly repetitive and based on luck.” This can lead to a constructive discussion about the value and utility of different activities. Ask your child, “What other activities would you like to do with your time on your phone today?”
3. “Stop sitting at the computer all day.”
This message can be confusing, especially if you suggest reading a book instead, as both are sedentary activities. If your concern is a lack of physical activity, discuss ways to incorporate exercise into their daily routine. Suggest activities like biking or running at a certain time each day. Encourage a balanced lifestyle that includes both sedentary and physical activities.
4. “You need to interact with real people.”
Telling a child to get off their phone and spend time with people can be baffling, especially if they interact with more people online than they do offline. One of the major benefits of the virtual world is the ability to connect with a broader range of individuals. However, it’s essential to ensure this balance is right. Instead, say, “Your family would love to spend some time with you,” or “It’s also good to have face-to-face interactions with your friends.” This can lead to a conversation about finding a balance between virtual and physical interactions that works best for everyone.
Conclusion
Raising balanced kids in a digital world requires thoughtful communication and guidance. By avoiding these common phrases and using more constructive language, parents can help their children develop healthy relationships with technology. Encouraging a mix of online and offline activities, setting clear expectations, and engaging in open discussions about technology use can lead to well-rounded, happy children.
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