Saturday, June 12, 2021
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It’s hard to choose between fantasy and reality

This weekend, I went home to watch the New York Jets take on the Pittsburgh Steelers with my family and a couple of friends. We hopped in the car and headed over to the same bar we watch all the games at — it was a good time.

I found myself in an interesting internal debate though while the game was going on. I’m watching the Jets do their thing in the first half, but at the same time I’m crossing my fingers hoping that running back Shonn Greene doesn’t even look at, let alone touch, the football. Let me explain.

I’m in a fantasy football league with my cousins and some of our friends. This week my team (Jizzlord of OZ) was matched up with my cousin’s team (Brave Nude World). After the 1 p.m. games ended, I had a comfortable, but not insurmountable lead of 25 points. With five players left to play for my cousin’s team and only two for mine, this was not a good spot to be in.

Naturally, my cousin had Greene starting for his team, so of course I’m hoping that he ends the day with zero yards and about, I don’t know, 10 fumbles. However, at the same time, I’m watching the Jets suck on offense and getting extremely pissed off over the fact that the ground game is not running rampant on the Steelers defense. Then again, I’m also rocking a smile on the inside because Shonn Greene is sucking majorly.

The game continues and the Jets are falling into a deeper hole. I’m sitting there watching and thinking, OK, Greene really needs to come back in and get some yards before this thing is totally out of reach — although I hope that anybody, even Tim Tebow, gets the score.

If I had any type of idea what number to call to get in touch with Rex Ryan, I’d be on the cell belligerently yelling this to him. Don’t laugh, I’m completely serious. For some reason, I care that much about wiping the floor with Brave Nude World. Call it pride or call it competitiveness.

The game comes to an end and Greene finishes with 2.30 fantasy points. I turn to my cousin and tell him he’s stupid for starting Greene because he sucks — I am happy. I then turn to my friend and say that the Jets would have had a shot if only Greene could have had a successful game on the ground — I am pissed.

For the rest of this upcoming week, I will brag about the wonderful and brilliantly managed victory of Jizzlord of OZ. But, I’ll also be complaining about the Jets and how they couldn’t run the ball, mainly blaming Shonn Greene.

I used to watch the games and simply look and root for wins and losses. Now, I watch games and think to myself, sure the Jacksonville Jaguars have no shot at beating the Houston Texans after going down 27-7, but would it kill Mike Mularkey to call a play to spring Justin Blackmon for an 80-yard touchdown so that I can get an extra 14 points? Help a guy out here. Is that crazy? I don’t know, but that’s fantasy football for ya.


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