October 29, 2020
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That’s quite a list, Lindsay

You know, there are a lot of lists your name can end up on. For example: the FBI’s Most Wanted. Or if you’re unlucky enough, you can be on Lindsay Lohan’s alleged sex list. That’s right, the former harlot seems to have written a log of every man in Hollywood she has slept with. Familiar names like Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake and the late, great Heath Ledger have all visited the enchanted Lindsay forest.

Hey, if they wanted to be in Narnia they could have just asked for a role in the movie. If this is true, some people are going to get pissed. Namely Oprah, who literally saved Lindsay from swimming in her own vomit by giving her a reality TV show (how ironic is it that a reality show saved this woman). Oprah currently owns Lindsay and she don’t need this shit, she has a network with a show about a family of fried chicken cooks to run!

Lady GaGa was thrown up on. Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for doing it. Apparently, the lunatic did it as a “performance art,” which sounds like a bad course in college. Gags has literally been gagged on, making me gag and I’m hoping she gags and I’m done. To tell the truth, I was a huge GaGa fan in high school, almost to the point that I was going to make a lyric from “Telephone” my senior year quote. Thank God I wasn’t that delusional. It is no lie that her career is not only not where it used to be, but has in fact plummeted into an abyss that I feel only Lil’ Kim knows. So say hi to Kimmy for me, baby. Because you ain’t going nowhere.

What would little Hallie and Annie think? (AP Photo)
What would little Hallie and Annie think? (AP Photo)

Emma Stone recently wept and for good reason. No, she didn’t break her foot. No, Andrew Garfield didn’t break up with her. She spoke to Mel B, better known as Scary Spice, during an interview in Australia. Apparently, Emma is a huge fan of the Spice Girls and honestly, who isn’t? See, GaGa, people can still hold onto fans without resorting to projectiles. Take note.

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