Do you know who’s gay? OK, stop pointing at me. I’m talking about famed British Olympian Tom Daley. Turns out, he’s not bisexual at all and is full-on “On Phil Robertson’s no-no list” gay. If you recall, Daley revealed in a YouTube video last December that he was in a same-sex relationship with the now-revealed Dustin Lance Black, who is twice his age at 39. Still, Daley claimed he still “fancied girls.” Probably the same way I fancy exercising. It’s cool, but I’m not going to do it. Daley went on to say his relationship with Dusty is all good while at the same time refusing to out any fellow celebrities. C’mon, Tom, just say it already and out Kim Kardashian. We all know she’s actually a camel.
If a 17-year-old girl on Instagram is to be believed (and honestly, are any of them liars?), then James Franco tried to hook up with one over the weekend. Apparently, a 17-year-old Scottish tourist met Franco in New York City and took an Insta with him, tagging him in the process. Allegedly, the two then began chatting later that night with Franco asking if he should “rent a hotel room” for the both of them. Um, excuse me. This sounds more like a bad fan fiction than anything that could be based in reality. What’s next — is she flirting with Liam Hemsworth on Twitter? Tom Daley on Grindr? Kim Kardashian on Rate My Puppy? Franco responded to the controversy on Instagram by writing, “I HOPE PARENTS KEEP THEIR TEENS AWAY FROM ME. Thank you.” Well, Franco, maybe this wouldn’t be a big deal if you made it a family affair.
President Bill Clinton had a major revelation to reveal on Jimmy Kimmel last week. No, it’s not that Hillary is the man in the relationship. It’s something much more … out there. Upon being asked by Kimmel, President Clinton told the audience he wouldn’t be surprised if aliens visited us one day. I fear the day we make contact with an advanced civilization. I think it will be as messy of a situation as Monica’s dress.