By Johnanthony Alaimo
Rejoice my British friends and girls who have a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster in their dorm rooms: Our favorite duchess is pregnant again. No, not Fergie. The other one. Kate Middleton is once again with child. Yes, she is carrying a bundle of joy that is causing her to vomit like she’s in “The Exorcist.” Unfortunately, she is suffering from the same violent morning sickness she went through with George, her firstborn. Otherwise, she could not be happier. The rest of the royal family is also in high spirits, even Prince Harry, who, with the birth of the new child, will be knocked down a peg in the line of succession from fourth to fifth. No word yet if a play date will be arranged with the new child and Blue Ivy, but sources close to the royal couple say that, as commoners, they are terrified of contacting Beyoncé.
And Jesus said, “Thou shall throw no shade lest you be never had drama.” Or maybe that was Tyra Banks. Quotes aside, Taylor Swift has been talking trash in the latest edition of Rolling Stone. Apparently, a fellow pop star was the inspiration of her song “Bad Blood,” which appears on her upcoming album “1989.” Here’s the extended quote: “For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?’ Then last year, the other star crossed a line. She did something so horrible, I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy!” Turns out the “star” (and I use that term lightly), is none other than Katy Perry, best known for singing about plastic bags and sounding like she’s singing out of one. Whatever Perry did, she better thank God Swift is done with country right now or she’d have tractor trailer marks all down her back.
And in more marriage news, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka married in a secret ceremony in Italy. First Beyoncé dropping an unannounced album, then Neil marrying his husband in secret, it’s like celebrities want privacy or something! Pft. Well, congrats to the happy couple. I wish them years of bliss, merriment and terrifying moments of asking each other whether or not they shut off the oven when they’re out.