By Johnanthony Alaimo
I believe Kardashian and divorce have become synonyms. In another Kardashian-style heartbreak, Bruce and Kris Jenner have called it quits after 22 years of marriage, TV cameras and an insurmountable quest for fame. The pair has already been living apart for 11 months now. By “apart,” it is unclear if that means Bruce lived in another home or simply moved to the other side of the house.
The soon-to-be exes are still very much involved in their two young daughters lives, as well as their Vine careers, I’m assuming. (If you have not seen Kylie Jenner’s Vine account yet, please waste some valuable time of your life and do so). So re-start the “___ Days With No Kardashian Divorce” counter. And start placing bets (I give it 60 days).
Lindsay Lohan is hungry, probably physically because cocaine only has so many calories, but professionally as well. The “actress” pitched an idea for “Mean Girls 2” to writer Tina Fey when Lohan met with her (AKA broke into her apartment). Apparently, Lohan wants the story to pick up years later and follow the clique of women who have turned into housewives and are “cheating.” Wow, incredible. Too bad that idea already took off in the form of “Desperate Housewives.”
A “Mean Girls 2” actually does exist. However, it is painful and awful, and the mere fact it calls itself a sequel is actually offensive. My opinion? “Mean Girls” needs a sequel as much as Lindsay deserves an Oscar.
America’s royal baby has arrived. Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, delivered her bundle of joy on Friday night. Another Clinton in the world is just what I need in this life of sin. People are also talking about how Secretary Clinton’s new role as grandma will affect her future political ambitions. But if the grandma stereotype is real, then I expect her to spoil us rotten. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses … and $20 every Sunday. Thanks, grandma.