Thursday, August 5, 2021
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Kim’s Declassified: The 6 Stages of Going to the Library

If this semester hasn’t reduced you to tears quite just yet, then consider yourself one of the lucky ones. During midterms, the College feels like Stress City, U.S.A. population: you. One would think after 12 plus years of schooling we would have foolproof study habits and work ethic. But alas, here we are, the night before a major test or project is due, holding our head in our hands and muffling screams of “WHY ME” while sitting on the fourth floor of the library.

We came here early in the morning with one mission — get shit done. So what happened?

  1. Unapologetic Optimism: You woke up this morning with a strong sense of determination. You rolled out of bed at a reasonable hour, made sure to grab a bite to eat and, heck, I bet you even took pride in packing your book bag with all your homework, supplies and snacks. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the library looms in the distance like a beacon of hope that good grades truly are obtainable. You quickly approach the entrance and take your first step inside….
  2. Slow Digression: …and the joy slowly drains out of your soul. This isn’t so bad, you tell yourself. You’re still determined enough to walk up four flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator but immediately regret it. You search for an open seat only to be dismayed that practically all of campus is here at the same time. Finally, you grab an armchair looking out over Green Hall in a cozy back nook. Now you’re really ready to start your homework…

    (Envato Elements)
  3. Passive-Aggressive Overload: …that’s when a group of overly rowdy kids strolls in and turn your cozy nook into the confessions room of a reality television show. Their gossip about last night’s shenanigans may be interesting but certainly not at full volume. And yes, they only interrupted you watching cat videos on YouTube (study break), but still. Can’t you watch kittens sneezing in peace and quiet? For the next 20 minutes you’ll shoot them dirty looks that scream, “quiet down or this pencil is going straight into your ear canal…”

    (Envato Elements)
  4. Deep Rooted Denial: …you’re starting to lose touch with reality. At this point you’ve completely convinced yourself that unless you stand up RIGHT NOW and get a coffee and pastry from the Lib Café then surely, you’ll die. A boost of caffeine is exactly the thing you need to really focus on this work and get it done once and for all. And who doesn’t love a banana nut muffin? Maybe you’ll see a few friends there. You could definitely use some moral support right now and it’ll only be a few minutes…

    (Envato Elements)
  5. Utter Despair: …and by minutes I mean two hours. You spent more time refueling than actually getting work done. Now you’re sitting in a ball in your chair, covered in muffin crumbs staring at your reflection in the window — it’s already nighttime. Did you need to talk to your friend about your pizza preferences? (They like sausage and onions but you’re more of a pepperoni person) No. But did you talk about it ad-nauseam? Yes. Yes you did…

    (Envato Elements)
  6. Acceptance: …somehow you’ve allowed size 12 Times New Roman font to ruin your entire being. The essay guidelines are impossible. The midterm study guide is now just a blur. You hang your head in shame. It’s time to pack up your things and emerge back into the real world. You may have accomplished absolutely nothing, but your efforts won’t go unrewarded. You owe yourself some cuddle time with Netflix. Tomorrow is a new day.


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