December 1, 2020

The Chip: Planter’s ‘Baby Nut’ Wreaks Havoc on Small Arkansas Town

March 2, 2020 Signal Contributor 0

He’s cute, bite size and a menace to society. Not only is the reincarnate of Mr. Peanut bringing nut lovers of all shapes and sizes together, he is also single handedly destroying a small blue collar community in a suburb of Little Rock, Arkansas. Following the fatal death of the iconic Planters Peanut in January of 2020, this demon hellspawn is the result of uncontrolled consumerism and the glutinous amount of buffalo wings consumed each and every Super Bowl Sunday. […]

The Chip: Lovers Rejoice: Eick Introduces V-Day Special

February 17, 2020 Signal Contributor 0

Love is a wacky and wild thing. Love brings the world together. It can make the most rational person do the most irrational things. It causes a lot of tears — whether for joy, or for pain. Love is a really cool thing – that’s why the government made a holiday about love in order to boost a routinely depressed economy in a post-holiday season! […]

The Chip: Junior Confused on Why Coronavirus Has No Lime

February 3, 2020 Signal Contributor 0

The latest pandemic has been a source of fear and crippling anxiety for millenia. In the 14th century, rats carrying the bubonic plague killed almost two thirds of Europe’s population. During the age of exploration, Native American populations across the hemisphere were drastically afflicted through the spread of European diseases such as smallpox, measles and typhus. The end of the first world war saw between 20-50 million people dying from the Spanish Flu. The amount of lost life due to these pandemics is unimaginable. […]

The Chip: New Year, New Who?

January 28, 2020 Signal Contributor 0

You’ve heard it all before. It’s the first day of the new year — hell, the new decade. You awaken from your deep slumber with a pounding headache and a low degree fever and look at the clock. Great. It’s 2:00 in the afternoon. As you roll out of bed, you acknowledge your disgusting and misshapen body in the mirror. Triumphantly patting your beer belly, you grin from ear to ear, give yourself a quick nod and exclaim, “New year, new me!” […]

The Chip: My Weekend Without Water

September 30, 2019 Signal Contributor 0

Water — it makes up the very basis of human life. Without it, all life on this planet would surely perish. We drink it. We use it to make Ramen. We do our number 2’s in it, and sometimes, we wash our hands with it after. […]

Rider Broncos “Find a Way” at Drake Bell Concert

September 16, 2019 Signal Contributor 0

The College student lifestyle can be summed up by one catch-all phrase — work hard, play harder. That’s why after an entire week of classes, clubs and homework, I found it absolutely necessary that on Saturday night, the entire Chip staff went to see former child actor and current one-hit-wonder, Drake Bell, perform at Rider University, located right in our very own backyards in Lawrenceville, New Jersey. […]

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