October 26, 2020
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The Chip: Lovers Rejoice: Eick Introduces V-Day Special

By Toni Peroni
Correspondent

Love is a wacky and wild thing. Love brings the world together. It can make the most rational person do the most irrational things. It causes a lot of tears — whether for joy, or for pain. Love is a really cool thing – that’s why the government made a holiday about love in order to boost a routinely depressed economy in a post-holiday season!

Long story short – I love Love! I love my cat, I love my uncle and my aunt, but most of all, I love – I adore – I absolutely admire Eickhoff Hall. This season, Eick is loving its students right back!

Last January, Sodexo revealed an incredible special for students to indulge their taste buds on V-Day. The “Eick V-Day Special,” which was aptly released on February 14, had students losing their absolute minds. 

“I can’t believe it’s here,” said Felicia Grey, a freshman psychology major. 

“The Eick V-Day Special convinced me to reconnect with my brother!” said Tyler Asther, a freshman history major. 

“To be honest, this is possibly the best Eick holiday themed meal I’ve consumed in all five of my years learning here at this very institution,” said Shrill Score, a super senior and open options business major. 

To prepare for the release of The Eick V-Day Special, Campus Police blocked off all roads within a 5-mile radius of campus in order to allow safe passage for pedestrian traffic to the eating center. Once meal-eaters step foot on campus, they are guided by a velvet rope, slowly funneling them to their eating destination – Sir Harold Eickhoff Hall. Security guards lined the velvet rope, making sure that these hungry customers and Eick mega fans reached their destination safely. 

“Security is really tight this year, but I think it’s in the best interest of the people,” said head security guard Herby Tank. 

This year, special Eick themed Valentines Day greeting cards were distributed throughout the dining hall. Some of the most popular cards read, “Hope you’re Gitten(stein) hungry for Eick” and “Nothing can (Kathryn A.) Foster my hunger for Eick.” A fan favorite was, “Roscoe is watching… Me eat Eick!”

As customers approached the dining hall, they all let out a collective screech for the Eick V-Day special. Nothing was going to stop these people from gorging themselves on the tasty bits and pieces of the Eick V-Day special. Why? Because it is V-Day. Love is in the air. Love gets people hungry for Eick. The fact that Eick has a V-Day special is like planting a plant and giving it water. It’s only natural, and it feels so right. 

“We love the Eick V-Day special” said two lovers, rejoicing as they munch on some tasty Eick. 

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